How to Show Don’t Tell in Your Writing

We are told as writers to show, don’t tell, in our writing. This writing technique involves using descriptive language and vivid imagery to create a scene or evoke an emotion, rather than simply stating the facts. When I write a scene in a novel I want my readers to envision what is happening as i,f they are watching a movie. (Yes, authors write in scenes. That subject will be an upcoming blog.) I desire to take my reader on a visionary journey. I want them to experience my writings, not just hear facts.

 To evolve our written words from telling to showing, a writer can do several things: 

 Use Vivid Sensory Details

Using vivid sensory details is a key aspect of showing, not telling in your writing. By appealing to the reader's senses, you can create a more immersive experience and bring your story to life.

Instead of simply stating that it was a hot day, describe the scorching sun beating down on the protagonist's skin, causing beads of sweat to trickle down their forehead. This not only conveys the temperature but also allows the reader to feel the heat themselves.

Similarly, instead of saying a character was sad, show their shoulders slumping, their voice trembling, and tears welling up in their eyes. By using specific details, you can allow the reader to experience the emotions firsthand.

Incorporate Action

Evoke emotions, feelings, and memories. Use adjectives and adverbs that nail down your meaning. Be precise. Rather than saying she had blonde hair, which is a general category, say brassy blonde, lustrous blonde locks, or glowing blonde. Be specific.

Create Authentic Dialogues

Instead of simply stating what characters say, aim to capture their unique voices, personalities, and emotions through their dialogues.

Consider the specific words they would use, the way they speak, and any verbal quirks or idiosyncrasies they might have. This will make the conversation more engaging and authentic, allowing readers to immerse themselves in the scene.

Additionally, including body language, gestures, and facial expressions can add depth to the dialogue, revealing the characters' underlying emotions and motivations. By focusing on creating realistic and compelling dialogues, you can bring your characters to life and create a more immersive reading experience.

Eliminate Passive Voice

Please refer to last week’s blog for a full explanation of the difference between passive and active voices in writing. When creating a show, don’t tell scene, a writer should attempt to write in active voice. Save passive voice for ‘telling’ dialogues.

Using Active Voice: https://www.angelaenosauthor.com/blog-writers/active-v-passive

Let’s take a look at a scene from my book, Under the Roof. In this scene, there is an angry neighbor at the main character’s door. I mentioned earlier in the book that the door has side lights. This means that the door has a glass panel on each side, so if someone came to your door, they could lean to the side and look in the sidelight/window and see in your house.

Aggie, my main character, was upstairs folding wash, heard pounding at her front door, and is now coming down the stairs just inside her door. She is about to meet an angry Marcus who is outside and looking through the side light. Got the picture? Great, let’s see what happens with angry Marcus. This is Aggie speaking:

My day of reckoning is about to occur. I begin a slow, calculated descent down my stairs, holding onto the railing to support my now-shaking legs. The sight of an agitated Marcus standing at my front door elicits a wave of unease and trepidation. I begin to fear what actions or words may follow his evident frustration. His eyes are focused on my dissent, one step at a time.

Marcus’ eyes meet mine. Seeing me just seems to disturb him even more as he pounds on the door once again. His gaze pierces through me with the fierce recognition of a predator, his eyes mirroring the untamed power and ferocity of an angry lion.

Can you envision Aggie slowly coming down the stairs and the angry Marcus outside the door?

Can you pinpoint where I have used sensory words, descriptive words, or have evoked emotions? There is no dialogue in this short example. However, there are many instances of dialogue in Under the Roof.

Balancing Showing and Telling

While showing is crucial for immersing readers in the story and creating a vivid experience, telling is often necessary for providing essential information or summarizing actions. Striking the right balance between the two is crucial.

One way to achieve this balance is by identifying the most important moments in your story where showing is vital, such as key character interactions or climactic scenes. For less significant moments, telling can effectively move the story forward without sacrificing too much depth.

Showing means that I bring the reader into my writing so that they can experience what I am experiencing. I have had many readers tell me that my book is like a movie that plays out before them. What a great compliment. They could envision and become a part of the scenes I created. I wasn’t just telling them. Angela Enos

Mastering the art of showing, not telling, in your writing is a skill that requires practice and diligence. By enhancing showing through sensory details and vivid descriptions, you can create a more immersive reading experience for your audience.

Now it’s your turn. Take this sentence and turn it from telling to showing and rewrite it in the comments below. (When leaving a comment, you only need to insert your name and hit comment.

Marty saw the dog running towards him and was scared.