Fun With Dangling Modifiers

Allow me to take a moment and chuckle at what I deem to be the most humorous grammatical mistakes--dangling modifiers.

I’m not going to get into the difference between a dangling modifier and a misplaced modifier; that would not be amusing. Nor am I going to get into the difference among the five types of misplaced modifiers: the

-         dangling modifier,

-         dangling participle,

-         disruptive modifier,

-         misplaced modifier, and

-         squinting modifier.

Let’s face it: no one wants to talk about disruptive modifiers. Whew. Exploring that topic most certainly would not be pleasurable. Instead, allow me to simply share a story. 

My mother-in-law was a teacher and a grammar guru. She graciously expected those around her to speak perfect grammar, and if they did not, they were swiftly corrected. Following in his mother’s footsteps, her son (my husband) has been correcting my grammar for approximately 20 years. 

Long ago, my mother-in-law was in her local hospital for a procedure. While in the waiting area, one of her prior students passed by her. He was on crutches and was severely bruised and bleeding, so she commented, “Oh Johnny, what happened to you?” He responded, “I was hit by a deer on my motorcycle.” Her response: “Oh my, what was a deer doing on your motorcycle?” 

And so, with that story in mind and with some extra time on my hands, I began my pursuit to find additional enjoyable dangling modifiers, disruptive modifiers, squinting modifiers…you get the point. 

Here are a few from my collection of news headlines:

-         A young boy recently discovered a skull walking in the woods.

-         This house has a great view. You will awaken each morning with the sun in your four-poster bed.

-         Pedestrian hit last night by a car under investigation. 

-         Witnesses saw a cow from the farm heading into town. 

-         The robber was about 5’10 “, brown eyes, and black hair weighing about 180 pounds.

-         The Norwegian sport of skijoring is essentially riding behind a reindeer on skis.

And, back in the days of the COVID outbreak, “Japan has asked their people not to sadly go look at the cherry blossoms this year.”

Search for those dangling modifiers. They may make you smile, even amid the drudgery of editing.

Okay, it’s your turn. Comment below and share your favorite misplaced dangling modifier. You simply need to put in your name and comment. Have fun.